I came to be
in this moment

I live
in this moment

and when I leave
it can only be
in this moment

the tick must die
before the tock appears

An entire life has come and gone
in this moment
but what is this entire life
except the summation of all these moments
each infinite unto itself?

What is this consciousness
that seems to think itself
capable of existing over countless moments?
Is consciousness not creating it's own illusion of existence over time?

The One comes in many forms
yet we do not recognize

Suffering
attachment, aversion, indifference
hatred, war, killing, violence
the object is always the same
the One which is not seen

The IS-ness of everything is SO simple
and yet
contains within it
infinite potential

The most profound discoveries
are of those things
that are right before our eyes

We can never find that which manifests effortlessly
by exertion

As an example
this sound called OM
the sound of the universe
spoken about by sages past, present and future
is here
right now!
Do you hear it?
Listen carefully, and you will hear
It's right here!
It's always been here
but just because it has always been here
we miss seeing it

There is a very high pitched sound
like an "eeeeee..."
listen...
can you hear it?
It's always been there
your entire life
yet we missed it!
OM
the sound of the universe
permeating all beings
all the time

In the same way
IS-ness
simply
well, IS!

The true nature of who and what is you are
is this IS-ness
that goes beyond all states
It is there when you are awake
and when you sleep
My teachers have always taught me
that it is like a stainless mirror
that perfectly reflects all appearances on it
yet itself has no appearance

appearances
whether "internal"
such as thoughts or feelings
or "external"
such as cars, colors, sounds, birds, people

all appear on its pristine surface
perfectly

yet we ourselves
are not any of these appearances
indeed when we mistaken ourselves
to be "internal" appearances
such as thoughts or feelings
then we can become misled into normal mundane views

The mind is infinite in its potential
WE are infinite in our potential
but we just don't experience that infinite
rather we experience the finitetude
of ourselves trapped under this skin

We are not foreign from OUT THERE
that is just our mistaken idea

If we continue to seek answers in concepts
we shall forever be trapped in a solutionless problem
caught in the attachment to thoughts scurrying by
but if we simply allow concepts to quieten
let go, truly, truly let go
and dwell and center in just the silence
the silence which encompasses both sound and silence
we will feel integrated
like water pouring back into itself
for even ideas, thoughts, concepts and beliefs
are the very same essence
no different in quality than this IS-ness

This is indeed a revolutionary thought
depending on "nothing" to answer our deepest questions
letting go of conceptual mind
and trusting the quietness
the mind that is beyond ideas
that takes care of beating our hearts, growing our hair
growing every single cell in our body,
doing a million and one things
without the conscious mind being aware

The greater intelligence within us
manifests spontaneously
and in so doing
synchronizes us to the rest of reality
This is because this greater mind
manifests everywhere and in everything

We are not separate from IT
never have
and never will be

Let go of attaching to the conscious mind
these thoughts
they only emerge spontanously anyways
like everything else that emerges spontaneously
let go and expand into that natural state
which you already know so well
but haven't yet recognized it for what it is
that state which is simply quietness
that state where everything arises spontaneously
without any effort from "you"

"You" aren't  watching the world from this state
In this state of no-thought
there is no thought of "you" nor of "the world"
that state
that encompasses both poles naturally
is your true nature
and naturally
it is beyond concepts

If you recognize that
the next thing to recognize
is that concepts and thoughts
emerge right within that state itself!
so cannot be any different from that state
in this way
thoughts themselves self-liberate
and our mistaken view vanishes
like morning mist once the sun is fully arisen

We are like a hologram
Within each of us
is a jewel
that reflects perfectly
the jewel that is everything else

Your whole life
you have been searching for me
haven't you?

Others have labeled me God,Thor, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Ogun, Mantis, Athena
and you have studied them
internalizing their concepts
....of me

I appear so different
creating endless arguments amongst my "followers"
I am each of them
and yet
I am none
Concepts all
merely fingers pointing to the moon
Don't mistaken the finger for the moon
rather
follow it to it's tip and go beyond
to truly see the objectless object pointed at
....me

Don't get lost in an ocean of words!
You are a wordsmith extraordinaire
and words have been your life
have been your means to sustenance and survival in society
so you have spent your life swimming in this ocean
lost in its power
giving them energy
enabling them to multiply like rabbits
filling up the ocean even more

The ocean of ideas is never ending
feeding back into itself in infinite beguiling loops
They are so intoxicating
BUT they may also move you further and further away from the truth
.....from me

You have been secretly searching for me
hoping I will manifest in some kind of defined form
as a concept that will transcend all other concepts
yet though I give rise to all appearances
including the thoughts you so cherish
My intelligence is beyond conception
seek as you may
and you have your whole life
you will never find me there

You search for me outside of yourself
and this is your mistake
In so doing
you give away your power
and live always
in a state of poverty mentality
Not seeing that I manifest in all that is outside of you
AND also within you yourself
you have always sought me outside of you

Recognize now
that I am within you
I express myself within you
as much as I express myself outside of you

You are, after all
a human BE-ing
you simply ARE
as things outside of you simply ARE

You are
without having to think you are
Your conscious mind is also an expression of me
but you do not need to think me into existence
I appear to your eyes when you awaken
you need not make effort
I appear in your dreams when you sleep
I appear as color, sound, thoughts and feelings when you sit in silence
I appear in all cases
effortlessly

By simply existing as a human BE-ing
I am already manifesting through you

I am in every possible thing you can imagine
and in those you cannot

When you can sit in silence
satisfied with nowhere else to go
and nothing else to investigate
then you have seen
that there is only one god
and it is you

We had just finished hosting the Buddhist Relics Tour here in Capetown and Johannesburg, South Africa. The relics tour is a collection of sacred relics produced by Buddhist masters at the time of their death. They are pearl-like objects found in  their cremation ashes.

It was a very beautiful and moving event.

Here iin Johannesburg, we held it in the Lam Rim centre, where Anna and I were married last year.

We had a tremendously busy day yesterday. So many people felt so fortunate at having experienced the Relics. So many moving stories of young and old. We also had a beautiful Question and Answer session with venerable Samden which I felt was very insightful. Samden explained that the relics are actually the result of intense visualization meditation at the chakra points of the body.  I have practiced for many years but I found Samden's explanations very enlightening (no pun intended).

We have received a sign at the closing ceremony from Geshe Konchog Rinpoche that this event was spiritually profound for Africa.

During the closing ceremony last night, there were only about 20 of us left including sangha members Philip, Neil, myself, Anna, Louise, Karl and Atu.  The most amazingly beautiful thing happened.

As Nyingje, the nun with the tour was saying some final words, she glanced over and noticed that the relic of Geshe Konchog began to glow orange...the same color as a heater heating element or a lit cigarette. She said "oh, look, the relic is glowing". It was an area about 1mm square on the relic that actually glowed, not the entire relic.

She said that every time she said "rejoice", it pulsated more light out. We couldn't believe it so we all rushed forward to the relics to see and sure enough, all 20 of us witnessed a dot of warm orange light glowing the one side of Geshe Konchog's relic! The orange light seemed to be emanating from the heart of one side of the relic.

Those with digital cameras took some pictures and we could clearly see on the pictures what we witnessed with our eyes. Later that evening, we looked at Samden's pictures and they were the clearest of all. He will send them to us later.

We were all visibly moved by this auspicious sign. It was a profoundly joyous and moving experience for all present.

It was funny because Victoria, the Relic coordinator was explaining the relics earlier to the audience and said that in Taiwan and in Korea, the relics both did something similiar. In Korea, the community there had suspicions about the relics because a Chinese tour had come by some time earlier and they were asking for huge donations of money. There, a number of relics kept lighting up alternately. In Taiwan, there was one relic that shone as brightly as a lightbulb. Victoria said there was a Youtube video of it but I wasn't able to find it yet.

Nyingje said that it was a sign from Geshe Konchog Rinpoche that we had done an auspicious deed bringing the tour to Africa and sending blessing energy of the great teachers out for the benefit of beings throughout....like a ripple in a pond. Perhaps it marks a turning point of sorts.

What this means is that Geshe Konchog's energy and probably all the other enlightened beings whose relics were part of the collection were right there manifesting their presence with us in the shrine room all this time. The signs also confirms to practitioners we are on the right path and inspires each of us and together as a group to continue with our efforts towards awareness and loving kindness to all beings.

This sign has changed my way of experiencing reality. It's funny. Just before this, Anna and I were just discussing "intelligent devotion". Unmistakable signs like this have a way of converting partial confidence into full confidence. One needs that full confidence in order to make full commitment. Venerable Samden said that Milarepa practiced so hard because he received signs of the Hell realms and did all that was possible to avoid it!

A profound experience like this leaves no doubts in one's mind about the reality of the incredible truth and of our own potential to realize buddha-nature. The makes us feel that the buddhafields are indeed surrounding us at all times. It is up to us to remove our obscurations to directly experience them.

We are all so fortunate to have been a part of this. I will publish the photo as soon as it is sent to me.

Many Blessings to all sentient beings
Gien

7 years ago today
Jopoa passed away
from life into death

Time is an illusion
sweeping us continually into this present moment
Where have these 7 years gone?

We live
only in the present
even when we dwell in the past
or worry about the future
it is always done right here, in the present moment

This awareness matching perfectly with appearances
either side ceaselessly changing
that's all there is
unending change

Don't attach to this or that
don't distinguish good from bad
and from that
we will find the universal good underlying both and all
it is all the beautiful manfestation
of the same unnamable pristine awareness

unknowable
unnamable
inconceivable

though we try to know
label it
and think about it

I look at the picture of my icon
Jopoa, who meant so much to me
who still means so much to me
The symbol of radiance, light, energy, life & death
The eternal child
spirit flowed through this life
while body moved itself along with her
the baby, the young girl, the married one, the one with children
the one who escaped the Japanese occupation of China
the one who came to teach me
the one who became old
the one who died

We are all her
we are all each other
in spite of all our differences
we are fundamentally the same
trying to reach for the same ultimate truths
trying to awaken to our own true nature

Today I will sing songs that I wrote to honor her
say prayers,
remind myself of the sacredness of being human

For in her life and in her death
may we remember
the profound state of wonderment we naturally expressed as children
that indominable spirit that could not be stopped
of being born a son or daughter of the universe
a child of pristine awareness

Life goes on
In the remembrance of her death 5 years afterwards
The flame of love was passed on right here on Gaia
when a Hummingbird flew by this abode
and on her way noticed something that intrigued her
....the beginnings of the transferrence of love

I found Jopoa's love
rebirthed in a new life with my wife Anna
and so
love continues flowing on
moving from one body to another
this energy field of the universe
bodies dying both love never does

For though loved ones die
their love never does
it lives within us
making us into who we are
it resides in the invisible memory field of our own being
it is there in our presence and awareness of every appearance around us
and is the secret teacher behind all our lessons
the driver behind all our actions
the kindness in all our good deeds
the saving grace behind suffering
the beat that moves that heart

That love we carry with us always
quietly and unspoken
When people meet me
they meet us
When they love me
they love this love I carry of Jopoa and all those who have loved me

Love is that quality which we cherished most in our loved ones
that emphereal quality not of the body
and we who are loved
internalize that love
become the living ambassador of it
especially when our loved ones have passed on

The flame of love within our own heart
lit by the act of being loved
we carry forth
like a proud Olympic Torch bearer
setting ablaze other hearts

LOOK! This love I have been given!
It is utterly marvelous, deep, profound
it is beyond everything

Smile at the world
for that smile is your gift of the love you have been given
That simple smile
opens the chakras
and allows love to flow into the heart of other beings

We have been gifted
now let us gift
For love is nothing
if not gratefulness

Let me light your heart with it
pass it on to you
so that you may live ablazed in its profoundness
friends all of you
even strangers, friends waiting to happen
be kept warm on cold days by this internal fire

Anna and I have an announcement to make:

On this, my birthday
as Anna and I awakened
we were inspired and birthed a new being
(not a baby!)
we have decided to write a book together
on love and the internet

look forward to it!

:D

Many Blessings

Today is my birthday
and I received a warm wish from Anna's daughter Natalie
who thanked me for loving her mum so much
I felt it important to post my response to share with others here:


I love your mum a great deal
and she loves me in the same way
Our bliss is very natural and spontaneous

In Buddhism there is the idea of compassion or "bodhicitta"
this means love for all beings
I think this is profoundly important in a relationship
and the actual "secret" to true happiness

For a genuine relationship to flow effortless and free
we must love both the other person AND ourselves in the relationship

We know that the joy we bring our partner
is returned to us many times over
In bringing joy to another
that is the only genuine way that we ourselves can receive the others joy

If we were to take a selfish view instead
and try to GET joy for ourselves from the other
by controlling the other and dictating conditions to the other
that is when it backfires

What we create instead
is an environment for a desire and attachment filled relationship
where the conditions no longer exist for love to flow freely

When we perceive that something is wanted from us
we feel used and objectified
and that closes down our natural propensity to give
How does it feel when someone comes to us
and demands "I want this", "Give me that"?
It doesn't feel right, does it?
There is no sense of gratitude
no expression of appreciation of the other

For this reason
we have the paradox
that the selfish attitude when manifest in relationships
leads to the very failure of the relationship
while the limitless giving to our partner
is what creates the condition
for our partner's limitless giving to us

Many blessings

On our first anniversary

Anna and I reflected on how we got here
and where we are going

One year ago today
I journeyed halfway around the world
to be with another human being
(hey, she's a hummingbird, why didn't she fly to me! :D)
whom I met here on Gaia
and fell in love with

Our courtship was followed here on Gaia
and we shared our wedding with all our friends here

My, how time flies
(even though it is not real :D)

We are 2 living beings who found each other
amongst these billions of other people
I met lots of other living beings where I lived
and so did she
but love isn't something predictable
it's very mysterious, isn't it?

One thing Anna and I know
is that our time here is short
as it is with everyone
realizing this
we must love each other
and love all others
to our greatest capacity possible
and inspire others to their own greatness
because in the end
loving others is really all that counts
This life is too precious to squander

Together
we are each others greatest teachers
and each others best students

Thanking all our friends at Gaia again
for celebrating our lives with us

Please go to Hummingbird's blog
and celebrate with her

My wedding vows are shown
Anna said her's spontaneously

Dearest Anna, Hummingbird
Mother, daughter, wife,
teacher, student, giver or love, receiver of the gifts of the universe
lover of life
receiver of my love
my partner, my companion on this journey to the center of our hearts

Happy Birthday, my beloved
and thank you for being the biggest part of my life
This year is the first year
of our "triple threat"
your birthday, our wedding anniversary and my birthday
back to back honorings!

Together, we laugh and cry
sing and dance
tell good AND bad jokes
cook and eat
break bread (and eat it too, yummy!)
you are the yin of my yang

Thank you for coming into my life
teaching me
guiding me
sharing your past and present with me
giving me your love
and receiving mine

May we continue traveling this road together
bringing awareness and bliss to all beings (including ourselves)
uncovering the hidden jewel
of our true nature

I thank the universe for my beloved

E ma Ho